I haven't posted in forever... and when I did... it was in the middle of one of the most dramatic situations of my life. I feel like so many things have changed since then. They say time heals all wounds. They are right.
But, the past is the past...and now it's time to talk about now.
A few months ago, I moved to Olmsted Falls which is a suburb of Cleveland. I moved in with one of my old college room mates and her family. I didn't have a job, or a plan. But, I figured if I wanted to be successful, this was the place to do it. And I did it.
2 weeks after moving here, I got a job working as a nanny for an amazing family. I said I would never be a nanny after North Carolina. But, I found this job and it was perfect for me. It pays better than any other job that I applied to, it is so much fun, and I love the family more than I can even explain! The parents are wonderful, and the kids make me smile every moment.
I work kind of long hours, and then head to the gym afterwards. I've been running more and more, and I love it. I ran a Color Run (5k) in September, and now I have my sights set on bigger and better things. I feel so strong.
The most exciting news, is that Megan and I found our dream apartment and we move in in a couple of weeks! It's in the town of Fairview Park, which is just a couple of minutes from Cleveland. It's closer to my job, my gym and everywhere I go out. I'm so excited to live with my best friend, and the apartment is so much nicer than I would have dreamed my first apartment would be. I'm excited to host parties, and drink wine, and swim in the indoor pool... it is just so exciting.
My "love life", has been a little crazy lately. I've never dated so much in my life. When I first got here, I met a really great guy named Brian. He was super nice, and we had a lot of fun together. But, we both got busy and it kind of fizzled out. I was a little sad, but I still think he is a great guy so it was worth it!
Then there was a whirlwind of first dates. My friends all decided they had the "perfect guy" for me, and then I met some people when I went out. Lots of awkward dinners, and first kisses, and the whole "will he call" anticipation. For the most part they were all pretty nice, but not for me.
Now, I'm in the weirdest situation of my life....
I met this really great guy. And we had chemistry like I've never had with anyone else... ever. Like, he walks into the room and I'm so drawn to him. On our first date, we decided to walk around in this park by his house. Time went so fast, and then suddenly he stopped walking, grabbed me and kissed me. I've never felt sparks like that...It was perfect.
We ended up going to see a movie, and then spending most of the night hanging out at his apartment. I even tolerated his cat... I hate cats.
He is perfect. I love being around him. When his name comes up on my phone, my heart stops beating. I've "never felt this way before"... or whatever it is that they say.
The problem, is that I know he isn't ready to settle. And don't get me wrong, I'm not either... But, I feel like dating isn't on the table. We hang out and have an awesome time, and then its over and I wait until I can see him again.. and that's that.
He isn't going to be tamed.
And then... I met John.
John is the exact opposite of Seth.
He is kind of nerdy. He likes to cuddle and watch movies. He buys me dinner and tells me he likes me. I met his family.
He's the "boyfriend type". Sometimes I accidentally refer to him as my boyfriend.
I should probably marry him. But, the spark just isn't there.
I like hanging out with him, and it is so tempting to jump into a relationship with him because I know it could be great.
But every time I think about settling down, the other guy asks to hang out, and I know I could never quit him.... because passion like that is too good to be wasted.
So, yeah... I don't know what to do there.
This time last year, I worried I'd be single for the rest of my life. I guess losing 80 pounds, making bold life choices, and conquering the biggest asshole of them all has boosted my confidence enough that I can be myself around people.
I'll figure it out soon.
So in summary: I love my job, I love my new life, and things are going to be just fine.
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