Today is my day off and I have a full to do list. So, in typical Stacy fashion, I decided to go to take an extra long shower, and go to the book store instead. 5 hours later, with Starbucks in hand, I should be ready to tackle my monstrous work load... but instead I decided that updating this blog for the third time in a week sounded like a better idea. 

I'll get to my to do list later. 

The reason I have so much to do is that, in nine days, Megan and I are moving into our new apartment. I'm totally freaking out with both excitement and anxiety and about ten thousand other emotions. But mostly excitement. 

Every Wednesday, the kids have gymnastics. (I promise this is relevant.) Their classes are back to back, so I spend  two and a half hours either trying to help the girls with their homework in a crowded room, or trying to keep Luke quiet and entertained. Most weeks, I see a girl there who is about my age. From her interactions with her kids, I've pretty much gathered that she is a nanny too, and I've already decided that we are going to eventually be great friends. (I'm good at that kind of thing.) 

Last night, one of the little girls she was with kept talking to Luke, and trying to give him hugs. Both of us were laughing at her lack of inhibition and for some reason I started to think back to the start of my friendship with Megan. 

During the second semester of our freshman year at Malone, we were in the same Psych of Human Development class. The class was a requirement for Psychology majors and Nursing majors. So, consequently there were probably about 40 people jammed into the room. Somehow, Megan and I ended up sitting next to each other. 

A few weeks later, the professor announced that we would all have to pick a partner and sign up to do a project. On the last day, when we were all supposed to have a partner, I handed the sign-up sheet to Megan (who I had never spoken to), and she asked if I had a partner... and the rest was history. 

Well, you get the point. 

Looking back, it seems like we became friends pretty quickly. I remember that she came to my dorm room one night to work on our project and we spend the whole time laughing, rather than working. That's the mark of a true friendship!

Flash forward five years later, and I can without a doubt say that she is the best friend that I've ever had. 

It's crazy though. I feel like we have both changed so much. She isn't the quiet girl with bangs that sat next to me in that class. I'm not the insecure and afraid girl that sat next to her either. We have both been through so much, both good and bad, over the last five years. It is really just incredible that somehow we ended up here. At similar places in life, in the same geographical area, and ready to be full blown, rent paying adults. 

As I mentioned before, this is really scary. But, it is a lot less scary knowing that I'm doing it all with my best friend. 

Realistically, I know we have it under control. I've reworked my budget from every angle, accounting for every possible emergency or crisis... and it works. Our bills will be paid, I'll still have money to have fun, my savings account will never be empty... and our apartment is really freaking nice! 

So, I don't really know where this post is going.. I'm kind of just rambling. But, the moral of the story is this:

When you meet someone new, you never know how important they could end up being, and life is so good. 

Before I Go Crazy...

Today at work, I took some funny pictures with the kids. The twins were being crazy and Luke was being super sweet (which is pretty typical), and we ended up having a dance party... also typical. 

As I was flipping back through the pictures, I noticed that my face looked so big... which is always the first sign that I'm gaining weight. 

It's true, I've put on about eight pounds since I moved back to Ohio. The first couple of months here, I didn't get much exercise and my eating ranges from super healthy to totally out of control. I don't really mind the weight that I'm at, but I also don't want to let things get out of control... which I know would be so like me. 

So, in order to get myself back on track , I've decided that I need a physical/mental health weekend. And, this is probably my last chance at that for a while. 

Next weekend, I will be packing and organizing everything I own and then the next weekend is moving day. It's all super exciting but just as stressful. 

So, this weekend I plan on spending extra time at the gym, eating the way I know I should, and sleeping a whole lot. I also plan on getting a whole bunch of crazy stuff out of the way... so the next couple of weeks will be a little less chaotic. 

I'm ordering my bedroom furniture (and maybe the living room/kitchen furniture too), purchasing renter's insurance (we already set up all of our utilities), getting organized, packing all of the clothes I know I won't wear in the next two weeks (like my bathing suit), and getting my interpersonal relationships under control. 

That last one is important... but I've already started taking care of it. 

First of all, for the past couple of weeks I've started to realize that I've been neglecting my friendship with Corinne. Since I've been staying with her and her family, I guess it's been easy to miss making plans with her. We talk almost ever day, but haven't really had much quality time together in a long time. So, on Tuesday we had lunch, and this weekend we are going to hang out, crochet, and listen to This American Life. It is totally not how I usually spend a Saturday night, but it is totally representative of my relationship with Corinne. So, I'm really excited. 

After I wrote my last post, I realized how crazy my situation with John has been. So, I decided that it was time to come clean with him. I basically just told him the same things that I wrote here. And I admitted that, as tempting as a relationship with him is, I'm not sure that I could be faithful to him... which is sucky of me, but not as sucky as if I were to get into a relationship with him, and then cheat. 

He understood, and gave me the whole "I'll give you time to figure things out." Speech. 

I've already figured things out... so I guess I need to make that clear. 

On Monday, I asked the other guy when we were going to hang out again and he said "Probably all weekend." We ended up hanging out on Tuesday, but hopefully he is still free this weekend...because he is exactly the kind of stress relief that I need. 

It's crazy... people talk about commitment and love and all of that stuff. But my relationship with this guy is honestly one of the best things I've ever done for myself. We don't fight, we don't get angry or jealous or any of those negative things associated with a "real relationship." We just have fun and enjoy each other's company.  Not that I'm dogging commitment... I want that eventually. But for now I just need to be 23, and have fun and take care of myself before worrying about anyone else. 

And this weekend seems like the best time to put all of that into practice. 

It's Been Awhile

My best friend just started a blog... which reminded me that this never ending supply of drama existed somewhere on the internet... and that, for posterity's sake I better update it. 

I haven't posted in forever... and when I did... it was in the middle of one of the most dramatic situations of my life. I feel like so many things have changed since then. They say time heals all wounds. They are right. 

But, the past is the past...and now it's time to talk about now. 

 A few months ago, I moved to Olmsted Falls which is a suburb of Cleveland. I moved in with one of my old college room mates and her family. I didn't have a job, or a plan. But, I figured if I wanted to be successful, this was the place to do it. And I did it. 

2 weeks after moving here, I got a job working as a nanny for an amazing family. I said I would never be a nanny after North Carolina. But, I found this job and it was perfect for me. It pays better than any other job that I applied to, it is so much fun, and I love the family more than I can even explain! The parents are wonderful, and the kids make me smile every moment. 

I work kind of long hours, and then head to the gym afterwards. I've been running more and more, and I love it. I ran a Color Run (5k) in September, and now I have my sights set on bigger and better things. I feel so strong. 

The most exciting news, is that Megan and I found our dream apartment and we move in in a couple of weeks! It's in the town of Fairview Park, which is just a couple of minutes from Cleveland. It's closer to my job, my gym and everywhere I go out. I'm so excited to live with my best friend, and the apartment is so much nicer than I would have dreamed my first apartment would be. I'm excited to host parties, and drink wine, and swim in the indoor pool... it is just so exciting. 

My "love life", has been a little crazy lately. I've never dated so much in my life. When I first got here, I met a really great guy named Brian. He was super nice, and we had a lot of fun together. But, we both got busy and it kind of fizzled out. I was a little sad, but I still think he is a great guy so it was worth it! 

Then there was a whirlwind of first dates. My friends all decided they had the "perfect guy" for me, and then I met some people when I went out. Lots of awkward dinners, and first kisses, and the whole "will he call" anticipation. For the most part they were all pretty nice, but not for me. 

Now, I'm in the weirdest situation of my life....

I met this really great guy. And we had chemistry like I've never had with anyone else... ever. Like, he walks into the room and I'm so drawn to him.  On our first date, we decided to walk around in this park  by his house. Time went so fast, and then suddenly he stopped walking, grabbed me and kissed me. I've never felt sparks like that...It was perfect. 

We ended up going to see a movie, and then spending most of the night hanging out at his apartment. I even tolerated his cat... I hate cats. 

He is perfect. I love being around him. When his name comes up on my phone, my heart stops beating. I've "never felt this way before"... or whatever it is that they say. 

The problem, is that I know he isn't ready to settle. And don't get me wrong, I'm not either...  But, I feel like dating isn't on the table. We hang out and have an awesome time, and then its over and I wait until I can see him again.. and that's that.   

He isn't going to be tamed. 

And then... I met John. 

John is the exact opposite of Seth. 

He is kind of nerdy. He likes to cuddle and watch movies. He buys me dinner and tells me he likes me. I met his family. 

He's the "boyfriend type". Sometimes I accidentally refer to him as my boyfriend. 

I should probably marry him. But, the spark just isn't there. 

I like hanging out with him, and it is so tempting to jump into a relationship with him because I know it could be great. 

But every time I think about settling down, the other guy asks to hang out, and I know I could never quit him.... because passion like that is too good to be wasted. 

So, yeah... I don't know what to do there.

This time last year, I worried I'd be single for the rest of my life. I guess losing 80 pounds, making bold life choices, and conquering the biggest asshole of them all has boosted my confidence enough that I can be myself around people. 

I'll figure it out soon. 

So in summary: I love my job, I love my new life, and things are going to be just fine.