Ain't Nobody Got Time for That

Something crazy happened here the other day. 

On Monday, Charlotte had to work, while Matt had the day off. Although his dad was here, I was still primarily in charge of taking care of Colt, since Matt had to do some work outside, and wanted to wash his car. Around 9, he started burning some stuff. The recently bought a new oven, so there was a huge cardboard box that needed to be taken care of, along with a few other things. 

At 10:45, Charlotte called and asked him to meet her for lunch, so he put the fire out, and left. 

About 20 minutes later, I got up to get Colt (who was trying to play with the Xbox), and noticed that there was a lot of smoke outside. Upon closer inspection, I realized that a patch of the grass, in the back of the yard, was on fire. 

So, I sat Colt down, called Charlotte, and ran outside to try to put the flames out. 

At that point, the burning patch was probably about 3x5 feet, easily maintainable. I talked to Charlotte and Matt, and they said that if the hose wouldn't reach, there was a bucket in the garage, and that there was also sand in the back of the yard that would work. Matt said that he was on his way, which would take about 25 minutes. 

As I was getting off of the phone, I felt a huge gust of wind, and I turned around just in time to see the fire spread, and the fence start to burn. I yelled that I had to go, and began the process of fighting the flames, all while Colt was at the door crying.  

Within minutes, I realized that it was out of control. As soon as I got the fence out, the wind would blow and feed the fire. Before I knew it, the whole back yard was in flames. 

Just then, the phone rang, and Charlotte asked for an update. I looked through the fence, and saw the flames creeping towards the neighbor's house. 

Matt was about 10 minutes away, having sped the whole way home, and I knew he wouldn't make it in time to contain the fire. So, I told Charlotte she needed to call 911. 

I gave up my fight, and ran to warn the neighbors. I banged on their door, but the only response I got was a couple of barks from the dogs, so I went to the next house over, and Joe, Matt's friend, came out to help. He got his hose out, and prevented the fire from spreading to his yard, and kept the flames away from the middle neighbors house. 

Just as I heard sirens, I turned around and saw the neighbor's shed bursting into dark, black flames. 

Before I knew it, there were four fire trucks out front, with mass chaos everywhere. 

Matt showed up a couple of minutes later, and we all stood in awe of the giant flames. 

Eventually, the firefighters got everything under control. Joe got a hold of the homeowners, and Colt and I went back into our house, both of us a little shaken. 

At the end of it all, the neighbors ended up with a destroyed shed, Matt ended up with a citation, and I ended up with some pretty nasty blisters and bruises. 

It was definitely one of the most stressful experiences of my life. And, obviously I hope it never happens again. 

That night, Charlotte and I had a good laugh, watched the Sweet Brown Youtube video, and went to bed grateful that everything turned out okay. 

"If it doesn't make you feel fabulous, get rid of it."

At the beginning of 2012, I heard this quote, which would later become central to my current life philosophy. 

It comes from fashionista, television star, Stacy London. Stacy was talking about pieces of a wardrobe, but after letting her words soak in, I realized that this idea could, and should, be applied to every part of life. 

No matter how many years that we live, our lives go by fast. At the end of week I sit in awe of how fast the days have gone by. One of my close friends once said something along the lines of, "I don't know why people want time to go fast, I've never had a long day in my life." While I can't relate to the part about not having a long day, I can definitely agree with her perspective. We only have so many days on this Earth, so why do we spend so much time wishing them away?

Similarly, why do we waste time doing things that aren't making us happy? And why do we cling to relationships that drain us, or hinder our ability life the best lives that we can?

I'm super guilty of both of these things. At times, I would rather let myself be unhappy, than to create conflict with other people. What I consider being a good person, others consider being a "wet blanket", or letting people use me.

I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks, trying to figure out what relationships and commitments are the most importance to my happiness, goals, and future. Living so far away from home, I have to make the time I do get to spend in Ohio worth it. This means that I can only take time out for my family and close friends, no matter how tempting it is to spend time with less important people, who just happen to be doing more fun things.

I've had quite a few emotional vampires in my life. People who just suck the life out of me. I've come to realize that those relationships aren't worth it. I can think back to times when I've been in emotional turmoil, or had the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, but instead of being able to communicate that with others, I've listened to them rant about the daily, nonsensical stresses in their lives. I felt like a martyr.

In my head, putting the problems of others above what I needed made me a good friend. In reality, I have had to struggle to treat myself with the same respect. I truly believe that it is impossible to be a good friend to others if you can't be emotionally open with them enough to voice your own needs.

These days, I realize time is precious. I've quietly let a few people fall out of my life, not because they are bad people, but because there are just so many other ways that I should be spending my time.

One lesson I've learned from years of dieting, is that instead of removing all of the bad things from your diet, you must crowd them out. You don't tell yourself you can't have chocolate, you just eat enough kale that you couldn't possibly finish that candy bar.

That is a perfect metaphor for living a happy life. If something doesn't make you feel fabulous, fill your life with so many things that do, that you couldn't possible have time for the bad.