And after you suffer for a short time, God who gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in Christ, a glory that will continue forever. -1Peter 5:10
I'm not sure how, but I've made it through the most difficult week of the semester so far. Every day has brought more and more challenges, and in some respects it's been great. I've had a lot of good conversations, and I've made enough progress on my homework that , for once, I can relax over Thanksgiving break. The past 24 hours, however, have been so emotionally draining. Everything seems to be going wrong for everyone. I'm torn between feeling sorry for others and feeling sorry for myself, and I hate to admit that I've been kind of selfish lately.
I've never had so much conflict in my life, both inside of myself, and with others. I'm not usually the kind of person to let myself be upset about stupid, trivial things, but for some reason I am.
Talking to God has always seemed so awkward, like when you wave at someone who dosent see you... yeah that's what I've always felt like. On Monday, I decided that I just needed to be honest with God, and with myself. I told him all about a problem in my life that I've always assumed I shouldn't even bother to pray about. God dosen't care about the little things, right?
Well, since that morning, I've been waking up every day, and telling Him all about it. I can't even tell you how much progress I feel like I've made... Untill today.
You know when you overhear things, and they just kind of make you sick?
I feel like I'm confusing God's will with my own. How am I ever supposed to know what he wants. I know what I want, but when have I ever obeyed God enough to think that I deserve to just make requests like he's my own personal servant?
I feel so stupid...
