I've spent more time than I would like to admit contemplating what I should do with this blog. I started this as a creative outlet, a place to come and say the things that are on my mind, and to express myself in a place that wasn't as public as facebook or other social media sites. I wanted my own little corner of the internet that I could use to be myself, while only letting those closest to me in.

These days, I have a few other blogging projects that serve the same purpose. I have a wordpress site that I devote to talking about politics, feminism, and other relevant issues. I have a blog that started out as a diet journal, and is now sort of just a health/lifestyle free for all. Finally, I have a much neglected blog about my adventures in Nannyhood, where I chronicle Colt's milestones, as well as my own.

But what about this space?

I used to spend so much time writing about faith issues. I would blog about the people in my life, and whatever issues 19 year old Stacy was facing at the time. This truly felt like a safe space to do those things.

It is fun to look back from when I started this blog. It shows me how much I have grown over the past few years. Things change so quickly anymore, that I find myself appreciating that nostalgia more and more every day.

The greatest thing, has been reading the words that I wrote during really tough times. Time when I was sure things would never get better, and that things could never get worse. Revisiting my past helps me to see how every experience, now matter how negative, and every relationship, no matter how heartbreaking, has served it's purpose to mold me into who I am today.

I'm proud of who I am.

I'm proud that throughout all of my struggles and triumphs I've remained compassionate. I'm proud that I have the ability to be introspective and critical of my own thoughts and actions. But, most importantly, I'm proud that I've been able to come out of some really shitty situations unscathed.

Without this blog, I wouldn't have a reference point to use to monitor my personal and spiritual growth. If it wasn't for that, I would probably just walk away and say good bye.

But, I'll keep coming back.

I will keep reporting the most important things that happen in my crazy life, because there is no better time than now to spend time reflecting on who I am, and who I want to become.

I know I've posted about the Law of Attraction before, but it is a concept that hasn't ceased to intrigue and excite me.

Today started out pretty rough. On typical mornings, when my alarm goes off, I roll over, open the door, and get ready for Charlotte to bring Colt to me. Apparently I forgot to shut my door last night because I was startled awake at 4:40, because Charlotte saw my open door and thought I was up.

I'm fairly certain the first words out of my mouth were "Oh My God".

After that slightly traumatic experience, Colt decided to lay in bed and thrash around all morning, before he eventually decided he was ready to get out of bed at 6:30.

Because I had such a bad time, I thought today provided a perfect opportunity to practice the Law of Attraction. So, I put on my happy face, and decided that today would be an awesome day.

I think attitude is so important.

We all have that friend, who just has a bad attitude about everyone and everything. You know... that "Woah is me" friend. The one who has a bad outlook on life, and in return live gives her/him crap.

One of my goals in life is to be the antithesis to that person. I genuinely believe that if I wake up expecting the best, then I will get the best. Sure, sometimes tragic things happen. Loved ones die, natural disasters destroy lives. Those are the things worth being in a bad mood about. If I were to spend my life being sad about life's little frustrations, boys who don't want to date me, or all of the money that I don't have, then my life would be so joyless.

On the other hand, when I wake up on days like today and think "Yeah Colt is being difficult, but he is here and happy and healthy." Then everyone wins.