So, in about an hour I have a job interview, so I thought I would come here and try to calm my nerves, instead of scrolling through my news feed for the zillionth time this afternoon.

The interview is with an event marketing company in Raleigh, and from what I can tell it seems like an okay job. Maybe not what I want to do with the rest of my life, but considering that I'm only getting paid one more time, I can't be too picky right now.

So, hopefully this will work out.

Let me just jump back into my questions and see how far I can get before I have to leave!

8. What's something you would regret not doing?

- This sort of goes along with my favorite Mantra "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" I guess the first thing that comes to mind is grad school. I would love to go back to school and get my MPH, and I fully intend to as soon as my life settles down a bit. Other than that, I guess I'm not really sure. I would regret it if I didn't move to Raleigh, but I totally plan on doing that later this year. So, I don't know, there are probably other things, but nothing is coming to mind right now.

I just thought of something... getting an oil change... my car is past due.

9. What are you procrastinating on right at this moment? 

- Well I guess I should technically be preparing for my interview, but I don't really know how. I also need to go through my closet and see what clothes I have that I could possibly wear to work if I guest this job. And, I need to try on my old dress pants, to see if any of them fit well enough to keep... which I'm highly doubting. Oh, and I also need to send my cousin Emma a letter that I wrote to her... I'll get to that tomorrow.

10. What is the best thing that happened to you yesterday?

- This is easy, I got a call for this interview! Worst thing that happened yesterday? I fell off the stability ball at the gym. Yikes!

11. What's the last thing you regret buying?

- I've been saving money recently, so I haven't really bought anything lately. I mean, I guess I just regret wasting money on things like Starbucks, and stuff from Target that I don't really need.

Happy Memorial Day!

It's such a nice day, that I'm planning on spending it out in the sun, just as soon as I answer a few more of my questions! These questions are a little trickier than the 4 that I've already answered, but here goes nothing!

7. What mistakes do you make over and over?

-First of all, I spend money on things I don't need. I've gotten a little better at this recently, since I've been trying really hard to save, but over the past year, I've spent so much on things like Starbucks, take out, and just little things that seem great at the time, but that end up on a shelf somewhere, never to be seen again. I really have to work on that.  I also tend to let the opinions of others control me way more than I should. I often hesitate to do things because I wonder what people will think of me if I do. I wish I could be more confident in my own choices, but hopefully that will come in time.

8. What could I learn from you just by meeting your friends?

- I'm not totally sure what this questions means. Does it mean, what would my friends say about me? Or does it mean, what can I learn about you based on who you pick for friends?  Well, I don't really think you could learn very much by looking at what kind of people I choose for friends. My friends are all really different. I don't really choose friends, so to speak, they just kind of happen. I'm not entirely sure what my friends would say about me either. I hope they think I'm fun to be around, and that I help them when they need it. We definitely like to have fun together, so I'm sure they could tell you a ton of crazy stories!

9. What worries you most about your current circumstances?

- Money. Finding a job. Basically anything financially related. For the past year, I've been pretty financially secure, but now I have to find a job, pay the bills, and move out on my own. I'm afraid that it isn't going to happen, and I hate that.

Okay, so that's all for now! I'm going to go work on my tan!

A few days ago I celebrated my 23rd birthday!

It was a pretty nice day. I only had to watch Colt for a couple of hours, we had my favorite dinner (Vegan Crab Cakes), and Charlotte got some vegan cupcakes from our favorite health food store.

Every year around this time, I start to reflect on my life, goals, and dreams. I always try to think back to the year before. What did I think my life would be like by now? How did I measure up to last years goals?

I can never remember.

This year, I decided to be proactive.

Right before graduation, I finished off my print balance, by printing out a bunch of illustrated questions, and compiling them into a book. Until now, I've kind of been unsure of where to go from there. But now I've got it.

I'm going to answer all of them (there are like 30), on this blog, over the next few days/weeks/however long it takes. Then next year, I can do the same thing, and see how I've grown and changed.

So... here goes nothing...

1. What has changed in your life in the past year?

- I could write a super long post answering just this question. My life has changed so much in the past year. The day after I turned 22, I moved to Linden, North Carolina.  I met Colt, and started my new life here. I went to the ocean for the first time in my life (Myrtle Beach), a few weeks later. In July, I flew in an airplane for the first time (from NC to PA and back). I became a member at For Women Only Fitness Center, which has been life changing. I bought my first car (a 2005 Chevy Caviler). I became a vegan. I lost about 64 pounds. I met a lot of really great, interesting, wonderful people. I had a lot of good times, and learned a whole lot about myself.  It has been a good year.

2. What are your top three short-term goals?

- This is tough, because I feel like I have so many goals in so many areas of my life. And what is "short-term" anyways? Okay, so some of my more significant short-term goals are to:  1. Find a job, that I like and that pays the bills. 2. Lose 2 pounds a week until vacation. 3. Save money. For lots of things. For vacation, and then eventually for an apartment... but that is a little further away.

3. What is the most important lesson your grandparents taught you?

- This is hard, and kind of a sensitive subject these days. My mom's parents are getting older. My grandma, who is one of the most amazing, caring, kind people I've ever known, is starting to show signs of Alzheimer's. So grandparents are hard to talk about. But... I think that my Grandma Studer has taught me that love is forever. She took care of my grandpa (and a lot of  other people), until the day he died. She took her wedding vows so seriously. I can only hope that I love someone that much some day.  My Grandma Greathouse taught me to be kind. She treats everyone with respect, and is just so wonderful. I hope that some day people love me like our family loves her. She really is a special person. My Grandpa Greathouse has taught me a lot about hard work and responsibility. He worked for years, even after retirement. He helps anyone who needs it, and he takes care of his family. He is the epitome of what a "Man" should be.

4. If your house burned down, what 3 possessions would you miss most?

- Alright, my answer for this is probably going to be a little shallow. But, I think I would miss my photo albums and scraps books, my clothes, and my electronics (so like my laptop, and digital camera), the most. I cant really give a better answer for that. Maybe someday I will have things that are more sentimental. But for now, that's it.


Okay, so there are some tougher questions coming up, and it is late so I'm going to stop here.

But, I'll be back soon!

Wow, some crazy things have gone on since my last post. I feel like, if I am truly going to be authentic, I need to write about them.

About a month ago, my cousin's parents lost their job as landlords of a small apartment complex. Because one of the benefits of the job was free housing, they also lost their home. I remember how devastated Charlotte was. She told me how helpless she felt being so far away, and having no control over the situation.

I felt bad for them, even though it was their own actions that cause their situation, but I really couldn't relate. I had never gone through anything like that before.

But then, a couple of weeks later, I was talking to my mom, and she casually mentioned that the factory where my dad had worked for the past 27 years was selling his department, and he was "permanently laid off".  I fired a thousand questions at her. What was my dad going to do? Where would he work? There were so many unanswered questions and I had never felt so far away from home.

My mom assured me that everything was going to be okay, and reminded me that my father despised his job anyway... so maybe it was for the best.

It was still scary though.

Now I knew how Charlotte felt.

This past weekend, I was lucky enough to go home to celebrate Colt's first birthday. Talking to my dad made me feel more at ease, though I still worry about him, and wonder if he will ever catch a break.

On the last night home, we planned an early celebration for my birthday which is in a couple of weeks. My dad came over and my mom ran to pick up the cake, when I got a call from my grandpa saying that he was in the hospital, and he needed someone to come get my grandma, who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.

So, my mom went to get her, and my dad and I celebrated my birthday in our own way.

My mom and I ended up staying with my grandma that night, and then after I left my mom was there a few more days before my grandpa came home.

Once again, I felt helpless. It seemed like my mom was taking the whole burden on by herself. None of her siblings were being very helpful. My cousins did what they could, but they have children and families of their own to take care of.

And I kept thinking about my grandma. When I say she is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, I mean really, really early. She can still take care of herself, but gets confused every once in a while, or gets lost, or accidentally leaves the water running.

I kept wondering how she felt, being babysat in some ways. Did she realize what was happening, or did she just think people were overstaying their welcome.

How helpless did she feel?

Anyway, I don't really know how to wrap this post up, but I just wanted to share.

My life has been really great lately, but we all have struggles, and life isn't always so happy.