"If it doesn't make you feel fabulous, get rid of it."
At the beginning of 2012, I heard this quote, which would later become central to my current life philosophy.
It comes from fashionista, television star, Stacy London. Stacy was talking about pieces of a wardrobe, but after letting her words soak in, I realized that this idea could, and should, be applied to every part of life.
No matter how many years that we live, our lives go by fast. At the end of week I sit in awe of how fast the days have gone by. One of my close friends once said something along the lines of, "I don't know why people want time to go fast, I've never had a long day in my life." While I can't relate to the part about not having a long day, I can definitely agree with her perspective. We only have so many days on this Earth, so why do we spend so much time wishing them away?
Similarly, why do we waste time doing things that aren't making us happy? And why do we cling to relationships that drain us, or hinder our ability life the best lives that we can?
I'm super guilty of both of these things. At times, I would rather let myself be unhappy, than to create conflict with other people. What I consider being a good person, others consider being a "wet blanket", or letting people use me.
I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks, trying to figure out what relationships and commitments are the most importance to my happiness, goals, and future. Living so far away from home, I have to make the time I do get to spend in Ohio worth it. This means that I can only take time out for my family and close friends, no matter how tempting it is to spend time with less important people, who just happen to be doing more fun things.
I've had quite a few emotional vampires in my life. People who just suck the life out of me. I've come to realize that those relationships aren't worth it. I can think back to times when I've been in emotional turmoil, or had the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, but instead of being able to communicate that with others, I've listened to them rant about the daily, nonsensical stresses in their lives. I felt like a martyr.
In my head, putting the problems of others above what I needed made me a good friend. In reality, I have had to struggle to treat myself with the same respect. I truly believe that it is impossible to be a good friend to others if you can't be emotionally open with them enough to voice your own needs.
These days, I realize time is precious. I've quietly let a few people fall out of my life, not because they are bad people, but because there are just so many other ways that I should be spending my time.
One lesson I've learned from years of dieting, is that instead of removing all of the bad things from your diet, you must crowd them out. You don't tell yourself you can't have chocolate, you just eat enough kale that you couldn't possibly finish that candy bar.
That is a perfect metaphor for living a happy life. If something doesn't make you feel fabulous, fill your life with so many things that do, that you couldn't possible have time for the bad.
I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks, trying to figure out what relationships and commitments are the most importance to my happiness, goals, and future. Living so far away from home, I have to make the time I do get to spend in Ohio worth it. This means that I can only take time out for my family and close friends, no matter how tempting it is to spend time with less important people, who just happen to be doing more fun things.
I've had quite a few emotional vampires in my life. People who just suck the life out of me. I've come to realize that those relationships aren't worth it. I can think back to times when I've been in emotional turmoil, or had the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, but instead of being able to communicate that with others, I've listened to them rant about the daily, nonsensical stresses in their lives. I felt like a martyr.
In my head, putting the problems of others above what I needed made me a good friend. In reality, I have had to struggle to treat myself with the same respect. I truly believe that it is impossible to be a good friend to others if you can't be emotionally open with them enough to voice your own needs.
These days, I realize time is precious. I've quietly let a few people fall out of my life, not because they are bad people, but because there are just so many other ways that I should be spending my time.
One lesson I've learned from years of dieting, is that instead of removing all of the bad things from your diet, you must crowd them out. You don't tell yourself you can't have chocolate, you just eat enough kale that you couldn't possibly finish that candy bar.
That is a perfect metaphor for living a happy life. If something doesn't make you feel fabulous, fill your life with so many things that do, that you couldn't possible have time for the bad.
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